


Fuck Your Brownies!!!

by DinoGlitter



Series: The life and times of Noel and Xanxus [3]
Category: Katekyou Hitman Reborn!, Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, PTA Meeting, Tea Party, amused xanxus, brownie flipping, oc is pissed, ouran is extra, prompt, shade is thrown, trophy wives can be bitches
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-06 01:23:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11025657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DinoGlitter/pseuds/DinoGlitter
Summary: I saw this prompt floating around and wanted so bad to write something for it."important otp question: Which one aggressively argues with the suburban soccer moms at the PTA meeting and flips Helen's 9x12 pan of betty crocker brownies" prompt by: iamnotamuffin.tumblr.comXanxus would never miss a PTA meeting at Ouran as long as Noel kept it interesting.





	Fuck Your Brownies!!!

Helen was at it again.  Noel hated coming to the Ouran PTA meetings. They were just glorified tea parties for lonely housewives to rich men who had no life other than to make other lonely housewives feel like shit.  Helen just so happens to be the worst of the worst in this case.  She was an uptight ignorant bigot and Noelle had no time for her bullshit. However, she just couldn't keep her mouth shut anytime the couple Grace the PTA with their presence.

 

Xanxus sat beside Noel with an indifferent look on his face. He honestly could not care about anything in the meeting but always insisted upon coming just for the show Noel no doubt put on. They were both Proxies for the head of the Kasanoda syndicate.  They looked after Ritsu when his father could not and attended to these sort of things in his place often.

 

“I think we shouldn't allow certain children and their guardians to join the school.”  Helen started receiving nods and agreements from her followers.  “They could poison our pure children with their unhealthy displays.”

 

At this point, she was looking directly at Xanxus where his arm was wrapped around the back of his husband's head.  She was stepping over the line.

 

“Oh, I almost forgot I made some wonderful brownies all on my own today.”  She beamed.  “Unfortunately I had to sit them next to a rather unappetizing pie.”

 

 Noel narrowed his eyes.  This bitch did not just say that about his dessert.  Xanxus’ wide eyes confirmed it for him.

 

“What did you say about my black cherry clafoutis?”  Noel asked with an unreadable expression on his face.

 

“Oh was that yours dear,  you really shouldn't bring such amateur creations to the meeting there is no telling what's in it and you wouldn't want to get anyone sick would you?”  Helen smirked behind her tea.

 

Noel took a deep breath before standing.  He casually made his way to the elegant food spread before approaching the brownies.  He picked them up and turned around.  A soft smile graced the Frenchmen's face as he casually approached the group.  Xanxus grinned disturbingly as his husband stopped directly in front of the group. Noel casually flipped the brownie tin onto the pink marble floor splattering the brownie in front of Helen.  The resounding clang from the tin being cast aside sounded throughout the room.  The wives all gasped at Noel’s actions.  Xanxus leaned forward even more interested than before.  Noel’s voice was calm and collected as he addressed the rude woman.

 

“ Fuck you and your dry box mix brownies Helen. Unlike you, I slaved over a hot stove and made sure every ingredient that went into my dessert was fresh and didn't insult the people here by constantly bringing the exact same thing to every meeting.  I will not sit here and let you insult me, my husband, the kid who is basically our child, and my cooking. I do not take kindly to rude people. In fact, I tend to rip them apart for that rudeness. So what do you have to say for yourself Helen what could you possibly have to say? I'm sorry for giving you all cheap brownies, I'm sorry that I open my big mouth every time I come to these meetings, sorry I was brought into this world as the bigoted stereotype that makes it hard for real women to be appreciated.  You are nothing, your children are monsters, and your husband is more than likely having an affair with the pool boy that your so called friend circle knows about and laughs at you for behind your back.”  

 

 Noel walked closer to Helen avoiding the dried mud she called a dessert and got right in the PTA chairman's face.

 

“Now I shall ask you once more,  what did you say about my black cherry clafoutis?”

 

 

Helen shook in fear under the intense gaze.  Her eyes began to tear up.  Noel scoffed at her.

 

“ You are just a lowly bitch with nothing better to do than putting others down.  One day you are going to pay for everything you've said and everything you've done.  You're going to piss off the wrong person and embarrass your husband and your children to the point that he'd cut you off and you'll be nothing but a penniless nobody. And when that day comes I'll be there to watch you, mock you, and laugh until I see nothing but tears and no hope left in your eyes, and I can't wait.”

 

 The PTA gasped at his declaration.  Xanxus pulled himself together from his poorly hidden laugh fest and walked up to his husband.

 

“Come on Noel let's go home.”  He said softly to his husband as he tugged him away.

 

 He leaned up and started speaking in Italian.  

 

“She's just another jealous cow wanting to be you.  Need any help making your wish become reality”

“ I already know it's a reality, in fact, I'm the one who recommended the pool cleaners to her husband and specifically told him to ask for said pool boy he's having an affair with now we needed was this meeting to occur and the Dominos will surely have tipped.”  Noel grinned up at his husband.  “ after all she called our baby a low life who corrupt the innocent when he himself is just an innocent little angel I couldn't just let her get away with insulting our family.”

 

 Noel smirked looking back at Helen and the rest of the hens that clucked around her.

 

“We shall see you, ladies, next month. I'll be sure to bake something else since my pie was unappetizing.”

 

 Xanxus barely made it out of the library without laughing at his husband.  He knew Noel was going to make that women's life hell until Ritsu graduated.

 

“We can only hope she never bakes another brownie again.”  Noel smiled up at his husband.

 

“You just might have to serve her at the next bake sale .”

**Author's Note:**

> [ glitteryreptiles < /a> Come hang out on Tumblr!](https://glitteryreptiles.tumblr.com/)


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